YOUR DADDY READ IN THE PAPER THAT MOST ACCIDENTS HAPPEN WITHIN TWENTY MILES OF HOME, SO WE MOVED. WE DON'T LIVE WHERE WE DID WHEN YOU LEFT. I'M WRITING THIS REAL SLOW CAUSE I KNOW YOU CAN'T READ VERY FAST. THIS IS A LETTER FROM A * MOTHER TO HER * SON Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?Ģ3. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?Ģ2. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.Ģ1.

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?Ģ0. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?ġ9. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?ġ8. they're cramming for their final exam.ġ7. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?ġ6. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?ġ5. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?ġ4. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?ġ3. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?ġ2.

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